Oh, the visions I had...

My maternity leave was all planned out before it even began. 12 blissful work-free months with the ability to spend my days doing whatever I wanted - pure freedom. After many rewrites, my 'to do' list was perfected. When the baby napped, I'd get my tasks done. The housework would be kept up, the basement would get organized, I'd hang all those piles of clothes shoved to the back of the closet. Our days would be filled with outings and mommy groups and playdates, and life would just be grand.

And then Ty was born. That was eleven and a half months ago.

Who knew time could pass so quickly? Who knew that such a small person could have this earth-shattering impact on every aspect of my life? Who knew I could love so purely, so deeply, and so unconditionally? Millions of parents have known these things for centuries - yet they can only be truly experienced once we are parents ourselves. Since Ty was born, I've spent my days just enjoying him. I could stare at his perfect little face for hours and just forget any trouble I've ever had in my life. Times of hardship, struggle, and heartbreak; the times of disappointment and sorrow; all these things forgotten looking into the innocent eyes of my child. I live in the here and now. I've stopped focusing so much on what "has to" be done. I still make my 'to do' lists but sometimes days go by with tasks left unchecked. And that's okay. When tomorrow comes, today will only be a memory... if I don't cherish this time now, I'll never be able to go back in time to do things differently.

My closet is still a mess. The boxes in the basement are still waiting to be unpacked and the pile of laundry never seems to end. But my child is healthy and happy and full of zest for life. When I see that sparkle in his eyes every day, I have no regrets.